Curunir Steam Ship

When the evil-doers of Isengard need to do something wicked sick on water (preferably a calm river with trade that needs it's wealth extracted) they call upon the A-team of boat crews: The half-men-half-orc-half-elf of Isengard: 200% Neo-Swedes, with 500% limp wrists! These "guys" "man" the ship I am building currently (I picture Saruman engineered and then ordered the construction of this first ship and then a sister ship, later he constructed a big one, a battleship able to take to the choppy seas of Bay of Something-or-other-in-Lord-of-the-Ringsien).

Following the idea above (turn it all up a knotch and eeer'thang'll be better) I thusly and concordedly started planning. But first I had to make a hull. I started with the galley hull that mr Joshua gave me, but I decided after some trying-outs that I shan't use it, and instead make a new hull from skratchz.

How many chimneys should I add? It obviously has two steam-boilers...

Hull was made from polystyren that I cut up semi-carefully and then "planked" with thin plasticard on it's sides and thicker paper that I scored with a razor-thingie on top to add "realistic" planks.

I decided to wait with the decision on how many chimneys and started to make the ship suitably low-fantasy with a tad of Isengardian rivets and protruding things. The things sticking out probably have a name in English, they are essentially shelf-holder-uppers. Riveted, secure iron things that will hold a little platform in place even when the swell is a whopping two feet.

Inspired by an actual steam boat and it's engine room I got a tour of, I added the weird things on the sides (the ones that look like toilet rolls on a stick), though I can't remember what they are or why they exist on a steam engine for boats. The boat I got a tour of had a propeller though, so it might be the wrong thing to add. They looked nice so I kept them.

When planning the ship I wanted it to be playable with regular rules, so I made the hull quite wide, approximately 25-30% wider than a ship of this length "should" be (I think it has less sea-worthy proportions than a barge but that's a compromise I am fine with). The platforms and other areas are made to barely hold a 25 mm base.

Harpoon Ballista, two shovel-wheels, two steam engines and one help-engine for the two saw-blades, a ram and some other interesting gear will be it's main equpiment.

In this picture it is obvious that the ship is steam powered, with a shovel on each side. It has a wooden hull with iron reinforcements. The above-hull building (term for this in English?) is made with iron plates, for various reasons that Saruman himself decided upon.

When I made the saw-blades I...

... realized a thing... how in the actual fluck does these things work? Cue duckduckgo:ing and you-tubing and two or three hours later I was slightly more informed than before. I added a thing, like a bowl with a huge safety valve on the side of each mechanism where it is attached to the hull, and if I knew the name of these things (which would be roughly one third in size in real life) I would be very impressed with myself. And then I added the belts that apparently were used to power saw-blades.
    The saw-blades are huge and almost-high-fantasy which is why they can be removed and another cool thing can be attached in their place. A cool thing of less high-fantasy character.

Obviously, the ship is made to be compatible with The Hobbit-movies' silliness so, as I said above, I added two effective, steam-powered saw blades to cut up any smaller ships and/or to cut through for example an intruding Palaran or Pelargir Messenger, or for self defence against any of Middle-Earth's watery weirdos - of which I shall make a post about later. I shall not disturb my concentration with this post...

 

... ideas are like stupid birds sometimes...

- - -

In the end I went with the fantasy-ish style on the chimneys and attached one big chimney and two smaller, angled ones (at perhaps 22 degrees, someone can correct me here maybe).

The ram does not look like what it is: An afterthought. But it needed that to partly better the ship's proportions and partly to add to the offensive capabilities of the ship. The idea is to have sea battles on a big table, so I need all the contraptions and things I can get. In any case the ram was attached without problems and added to the look, I think.

Without ram but with the Harpoon Assault Ballista and the two smaller semi automatic harpoons on gun-platforms attached on the sides of the hull. It is almost as well armed as the Death Star.

 Well, not really, but it will definitely be manned by fuck-ups like mr Motti (see above for funny-times).

So, this is where we are at now. Naturally this has been done late nights when all the other things have been going on. Painting will be a whole other business and I suspect that I will be on the other side of the world by then. Good bye Sweden with your bombings (we had like 10 of them last week, a police station, a police car and some residential bombings), trucks of peace, idiotic Swedes that think that everything is fine because you have an expensive car (=no public transportation) and live at the right address and not have to deal with people that hate you.

Although this is likely in Russia, we're starting to see things like this now with the Great Influx of Gypsies. Just a reminder to myself that it will be nice going to a country without 10000000 beggars littering and pooping around 100% of all food-shops.

Happy-boat-ending, forget my rant above...

Australia!

This llama will go to Australia in mid-December. If you are an Australian on central East Coast (big place, Brisbane and down 90 km, G0ld Coast and so on), let me know if there are any hobby-places I should visit.

I have done some hobby, believe it or not... but that is for later...

The rest of the year

... I shall take my leave. To achieve something one sometimes need to put other things on the backburner. In this case it is The Hobby. The reason for this update is simple: I used to really enjoyed Colonel O'Truth's Miniature Issue, and then one day he simply stopped posting. Perhaps he died, perhaps he lost his account password or perhaps he got fed up with his hobby. Who knows.
     So, if there is someone out there who has enjoyed this blog, for their sake I say: I will take the rest of the year off to focus on the things I need to focus on. Good bye for now and I see you in 2018 or earlier if something positive happens that allows me to go back to the hobby.

Remember July the 22th AAAND Mad Max

Today we remember the horrific events at Battle of Anzen... I take off my baseball cap for the losses. 

I have been toying around with this idea for a while now... Mad Max was a great movie, and that's coming from someone who despise so called action movies. That movie was "balls to walls", as the colloquially say in podcasts. How the word colloquially is spelled I do not know, however.

This toying around with a Mad Max-themed Lord of the Rings army obviously sound like the ravings of a mad man (pun in-fucking-tended), which incidentally it might be, nevertheless, the official reason it came to be was I finally got my stuff together and FINALLY made some nice casts of my Great Beast of the Plain.

Dudes above are the leftovers and they are not the good models, so I figured the should go down the ol' convershun road, what with all their bubbly and faulty condishuns, and give them a total make-over, repimp my pimp-car, total grand design my face etc...

You may or may not remember my mûmakil-conversion. The howdah above was a leftover and I might get some use for it as part of the alternate "War Rig" that I will have to design, following the limitations of Arda.

Rest of the parts... I'll make up a nice background story, put together some crazy beasts and then we're off, towards hoooobbybyyybyybyb-laaaaaand! It's been a while crocodile... 

Also, welcome to the Russian follower who may or may not be a real person, he's the 60th follower. I have NEVER had more than 60 followers, but often less, and then someone unsubscribe or unfollow, and after a few years I get another. Sometimes the drop is larger, and sometimes the "resubbing" comes in chunks as well - it all depends on whether I am on a roll or make a spectacularly popular post. Often times I offend someone. This post probably offends a lot of people, but such is life in Sweden and Europe and elsewhere.

Before anyone has a comment about the date, please remember what the rest of our media say when it's the other way around:

Oldhammer Giant: Painting of...

Hello all you good people and hobbyists and other -ists.Here we have 'im, the yuuuge giant with his weird inbred legs, strange FAS-face* and other things. See the older posts for further information on this giant of a giant...

FAS) Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

An elven leader to show this dude's scale. He is a big goy...

Lots of painting to be done but the skin is pretty much done.

The dude carries some basic gear with him - he doesn't need much as he can just take what he needs. Life is breddy gud when you're the biggest guy in da army...

Another size comparison... Also showing off his butt and his weird goat-feet.

I have made a mould that turned out very decent. Message me below to buy one! 36 EUR for the model and P&P included. Do yourself a FUCKING favour and fucking buy one (1) or two (2)!!!

Llama out!

PS) Phanks guys for your patience with my slow updating of this blog, I will go back to the standards of 2012-2013 as soon as possible. Stuff is just in the way currently!

Midsummer is here - summer solstice

All the ladies wear their hijabs or flowers in their hair depending on their ethinicity here in 60% Sweden. A nice balance would be the above lady but that's probably hoping too much.

I say Midsummer but I should probably say eid al fitr, because those celebrations will probably be larger than Midsummer, at least a lot more flamboyant... I have every intention to get invited to one of those parties, they eat a lot of good food, but not even close to the nice stuff we stuff our faces with today: Fish, onion-grass, sour-milk-thing and potatoes. And some people eat fresh strawberries and more good stuff.

Remember the above ^ all you people going on that little protest march "for muh science" a few weeks ago. Climate hystericals. It used to be called global warming, but now that term is rarely used. Instead they started using "climate change", and people being people confused weather with climate and said to themselves: Yes, the media/politicians/tinfoilhat-conspiracy is right, we need to pay more taxes for sake of the environment.

And why all this "hate" for the weather or climate? Because it is Midsummer here in Sweden (well, the summer solstice was a few days ago, but for societal reasons Midsummer is nowadas fixed on a Friday) and the weather is as traditions bides not good: I am longing for a global warming, but it just won't happen, sorry.
 

Non sequiteur... ^ As you are all very well aware of by now, I have done zero hobby these latest weeks, but I have actually gotten some nice inspiration. I know there's a lot of talk on this blog about discipline being better than a joyful lust to hobby, and I still stand by that sentiment, but after nearly 4 years of only discipline and no joy I can start to see the reason to have fun when doing a hobby.

Something omnious to end the dots I have sprinkled out in this blogpost, on this for my people traditionally very important day... I am not laughing all the way to the ...

... only the wicked last man is.

Official dwarf chariot: 1400 SEK

Not cheap as chips. Coincidentally, I have made a similar one that fits a less unwieldly base (120 mm oval), you might have seen it. After having some problems with the moulds, I had to not sell it (had planned to sell it for 600 SEK a piece plus base and freight). And now this company releases this one. I must admit, their goats look better, but all in all I think I did an acceptable job. The official one below is solely based on the movies. For (C)-reasons, I changed some things up in my designs... you can find the posts in the sidebar, under year 2016 if you would like to see it. The paintjob was a fast and shitty one so I shan't post the pictures next to this professionally painted model.

I have been swamped with things other than the hobby, hence the no-posting that's been going on. I haven't touched a model in roughly the same amount of time I haven't touched a young lass, which is both pathetic and uplifting. Perhaps.
     Humans, oy vey, you annoy me and I annoy you, obviously, but I must say this: It is a good thing to note that summer is soon here and I will get some relaxation from all the musts. What happened to us? All these musts... questions that pretentious idiots have been asking themselves since the '80:s I suppose.
    Also: What happened to Colonel O'truth's miniature misc.-webspotpage? Can someone enlighten me?

Time to celebrate the Egg-days!

Happy Egg-days! Below you can see my grand-grand-grandfather posing for a picture before going for the Great Egg-hunt that lasted for nearly 8 days. Only five of the young men would return alive, one had lost a leg during the ordeal. My great-great-great grandfather. And in honour of that tradition we always skin our newly born babies' left legs, because that seems rational.

Lies obviously, but maybe you believed me? Just like some people thought I was going to build a Duck-Face Dwarf Automaton? I will tell you now my friend, over a cup of chai, that I have no inclination to do so. It was, as we say here in Thule, a ioke. We also say iam instead of jam, in general that is, I am generalizing.

Generalizing

Easter obviously has it's roots in many parts in Europe in the form of some pagan thing (Eöstra, some form of Godess I think). In good old Sveeed-eeen where ...

... this is happening (we are at number four currently, but just in it's infant stage, hence this wonderful mixture of weak men and hard times). But as I was saying, in Sweden we have the eggs and hares and later the bonfires (Valpurgis as well you know) and the witches go to some traditional pace for a big party etc, so everything is very Eastery. Abrupt end, my train leaves in 30, press the panic button, oooh-myyy-goood!

So that's it for this weekend. Don't forget to comment, subscribe and eat eggs!

Dwarf Automaton!

This silly piece of a model...

... is but in it's infant-stage, but perhaps it will be realized. 

It'll be a beast though, that's for sure... not sure if I'd want it on the tabletop... (see above).

 Don't worry about the duck-face.

 
These two guards show the scale of this massive piece of resin. Expect it to be sculpted to llama-perfection just before the end of 2017. I am currently doing a BUNCH of things - just check the latest posts, it is Carts of Everliving Flames, giants of Midgard, models of this and that and etc...

Not to mention this piece of equipment.... A pressure chamber. Apparently, it can take up to 14 "atmospheres" or something. Not sure what that means, but I push 3 kg of pressure in it and finally my formerly useless moulds are now finally functional. This means that I might have a shot at reproducing my quite invested project known as the Dwarf War Chariot.

Moulds on the work-bench... Some of them was put in the pressure chamber.

Llama away!

Truck of peace in Stockholm!

So, inspired by this Friday's events in Stockholm (and Nice, and St Petersburg and London and Madrid and etc) I am working on a new and "betterer" Cart of Everliving Flame!*

Our prime minister held a short speech an hour or so ago, I managed to get a picture of him, see above. He was one serious man - completely surprised by this turn of events!

So, the revamped Cart of Everliving Flame. Fluff text will follow later this weekend. 
     I can't obviously use the tree designs on the banners and elsewhere, due to copyrights mainly, so the considerations I have are the following (in case a carroccio-mould is made):

- Shall I design something that look similar and put on the banners (roughly eight of them, depending on how the final design will look).

- ... ooor, shall I leave all banners blank?

- Maybe make something up of my own that goes well with the theme of this being an inspirational wagon brought only into the most important battles? Carrying with it some form of bones and relics and some kind of important flames that have been taken from another holy fire that burns someplace in this big and important empire?

So, that's the questions. Answer and like and subscribe in the comments below!

Not sure if I will integrate these couplings directly underneath the wagon/coffin-look-alike or leave it as a separate piece for casting...

[Imaged removed due to being obnoxious]

Friday is here, and I and my friend alpacka is out and about, looking for that perfect pool. Edit: The gif wouldn't load, it is the one with two cute alpackas falling into a pool, one at a time, patiently waiting for the other to get rescued by their human.

*) I witnessed a bunch of happy immigrants/2nd-gens, cheering when they heard the news, which was slightly infuriating (they were however quite young, roughly 14-15). Heard other people had seen this in their respective neighbourhoods, people driving around the banlieues honking and cheering. Well if they're happy, then I am happy!

Rohan army

Got the gang together for a quick army picture. Neither the bases nor the painting in general is much to write home about, but as always, they models work okay as an army.

Just some random stuff I had no time to Crowbar into this mess of a blogpost, just like back in 2009!